Going Crazy

I'm having a hard time being the jack of all trades and master of none.  It's starting to wear on me.

Obviously, working full-time and raising two young kids is no easy feat.  Waking up at 6 a.m., getting ready for work, working nine hours, picking up the kids, making dinner, getting them ready for bed and trying to get some housework done is beyond exhausting.  My oldest, Xander, is even starting to use the word 'Exhausted'.  I suppose I say this too much to him, because, yes, his nearly 3-year-old energy (on top of everything else) is exhausting. 

And it's almost his birthday, so I have to clean my house (that's going to take a week), make his birthday presents, and figure out some fun games to play.  Oh, and the dinosaur cake!  That's going to be awesome!  Last year, I made cow and pig cupcakes and a huge farm complete with barn and silo.  This year will be stegosaurus and T-Rex.  I have to figure out some dinosaur cupcakes.  Any ideas?

To add to everything, my business is actually doing pretty well.  At the end of January, I started  my own on-line business SewChem on Etsy.  It's awesome and I get to do everything that I love, but holy Jesus.  I have a hard time keeping up with the orders, messages, and custom requests that my customers want.  I made a nearly impossible deadline for each blanket, three to seven days, especially if I have more than two orders. 

My husband also believes that I'm not selling my blankets for enough.  The hours and care that I put into each item is considerably more than what I sell it for. The materials aren't inferior, the skills aren't inferior, it's just what I think people will agree with and buy from me.  I agree with him, but everytime I try and change the prices, I give myself sticker shock.  My mind reels when I come up with these numbers and I say to myself, "There is no way I would buy this blanket for this price! If I wouldn't, who else would?"

In all reality, someone else would.  It's just finding those people and marketing to them.  But, if I market to them, I feel like I'm leaving out the people that just want something really nice for a reasonable price.  People like me. 

I take three hours out of my day to size, embroider, hem, and sew the perfect blanket.  And I sell it like I'm some Asian sweat-shop child (although my new hair cut makes me look like a 12-year-old and it's not exactly cool in my sewing studio).  I did analyze my motivations behind my prices and it wasn't that difficult to figure out, although I'll never tell my husband - I think I sell for what I do because I want to keep sewing.  I don't want to have to stop and clean my house constantly, like before.  I want to have a hobby that is all mine and know that I can contribute to the baby shower which happens frequently in my large Catholic family. 

So, the prices are staying where they are.  I like what I'm doing even if it only brings in enough money to pay for the electricity to run my four sewing machines.  (I know, I know.  But I use each one!)

It's difficult finding a balance between an affordable price and the RIGHT price.  Just like it's difficult balancing work, kids, husband, and sleep. 

Whoa!  Sleep?  What is that?

Today Is a Random Day

I have a few things going on that I need to get out of my head.  That's why I have a blog.  Not so much to get the readers (though if you do read any of this, which doesn't seem likely, then Thank You!), but to put down some mildly cohesive thoughts so that I can visualize them and really see what I mean.  It's fun to analyze in hindsight. 

The biggest thing jumping on my brain is a job offer to one of my previous companies (let's call it company S).  Note: I haven't worked in many companies (three to be exact) because of college and babies and I'm not quite old enough to have changed careers...yet.  I've only been in my current position for eleven months (at company M).  The job that I had before was with a temp agency because no company was hiring chemists during the slump of the economy.  I worked at company S for eight months, with a five-week break to birth, nurse, and bond with my daughter.  They continually e-mailed and called, making sure I was coming back. It's safe to say they liked me. 

When I was offered my position at Company M, my boss at company S quit and wanted me to interview for her position.  Then the temp agency called and said they had a lab manager opening for full-time hire.  Bah!  I was pulled in three different directions at once.  Ultimately, I decided to go to company M because it was exactly what I wanted to do and would be making a lot more than my then current position at company S.  It was a secure job and doing exactly what my degree was meant for. 

Now, I'm again at those cross-roads.  Company S has another job opening for A LOT more than what I make now and it's the same distance from home and the same work hours as my current job.  The director of research called me and asked for my resume and when I was available for an interview.  (See, still safe to say they liked me.)

Sounds like a no-brainer, but it's not. I wouldn't be blogging about it if it was.  The work that they do is not anything like what I'm doing now.  They only instrument I would ever touch is an instrument that measures elasticity.  No ICP, moisture, SEM, PSA, GC, FTIR...nothing.  I'd be at a computer typing in formulas and making new formulas.  Possibility of a lot of travel as well. 

What to do (if I do get offered the new position)?  Do I negotiate my salary at my current job?  Do I go ahead and take the new job offer and if I don't like it, quit after a couple of years and go on to bigger and better things?  My current company is very sensitive to the economy.  The previous company (or new company?) flourished during the recession. 

I wish I could do both.

On another note, I have a craft show in a month and my son's birthday in a month.  His party is the day before my craft show which could turn into a disaster.  But, hey, I did it to myself. No one else to blame but this gal here!  Der. 

This weekend, hubby and I are going away.  We're booting it out of town sans kids.  It's going to be AWESOME.  He isn't letting me take my serger.  Butt face.

Purchasing a Scanning Electron Microscope (SEM)

Being new to my company, new to microscopy, and new to purchasing, I have been given a tremendous responsibility by my company.  I'll be deciding on which electron microscope to purchase by next Friday.  Over the past six months, I've travelled all over the country looking at microscope vendors, EDS vendors, and workshops trying to cram as much information as possible into my tiny brain. 

So far, after gathering my notes, I have learned that I did a horrific job on comparing images from vendor to vendor.  In a SEM (scanning electron microscope), there are a lot of things that can affect your image and how well it is in focus.  You can have different accelerating voltages, pressure environments, working distance, spot size, and magnification, etc etc.  If you are going to compare a vendor's instrument to another vendor's instrument, these conditions all need to be the same for each sample. 

Let me repeat:  take the SAME samples and test them in the exact same environments.  Like your own personal little recipe.  I wish I had figured this out BEFORE I sat down and started to realize what a dumbass I am.  Either way, I was lucky enough to capture a few images in the same environment of each sample.  Thank God. 

And don't be fooled by the best dinner.  Although, the seafood in Massachusetts was a lot better than in Portland.  But the asparagus....right, microscope.  Not food.